Selfishness and Love

Selfishness and love. Not too often does someone speak of these two words jointly. In many cases in life, although they are opposites, selfishness and love go hand in hand.

Selfishness is focused on satisfying its own flesh while Love is focused on pleasing others.

So is it possible for someone to be selfish and still love wholeheartedly? The answer is no. Here’s why…

The breakdown

LOVE: The bible explains different facets of love. The simplest of understandings (and most commonly known) is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV), Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

SELFISHNESS: According to the gospel, selfishness (and pride… since they have similar traits) only causes trouble and dissonance. God sees this as sinful and those who partake in it will not inherit His Kingdom.

1 John 2:16 (CEV) Our foolish pride comes from this world, and so do our selfish desires and our desire to have everything we see. None of this comes from the Father.

Proverbs 13:10 (CEV)
Too much pride causes trouble.
Be sensible and take advice

Proverbs 18:1 (NIV)
An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.

So how does selfishness affect love?

In being selfish, people usually mistreat other people because of their own feelings. There is more emphasis on "me" or "my" or "I" as opposed to taking the other into consideration. With that as a foundation, they cannot really love… TRULY LOVE… someone else because of their over abundance of self-love. In other words, this "self love" doesn’t allow a person to love entirely because they’re feeding a selfish pride instead.

Solution or Resolution (if you will):

The bible tells us to love one another as God has loved us
(John 13:34).
The bible tells us to be devoted to and honor one another
(Romans 12:10).
The bible tells us to have concern for one another
(1 Corinthians 12:25).

We are instructed to humble ourselves before the Lord so that we may move in life with an abundance of humility, respect, love, and understanding towards one another. In order to achieve this, we must first be fair with ourselves… set our path on His ways, not the ways of the selfish and prideful. After all, if we are not fair to ourselves then we will have a hard time being fair to others.

Philippians 2:3 (NIV) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

James 3:17 (NIV) But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere

We must all take the time to re-evaluate ourselves. Where do we fall short? What are our inequities? Do these shortcomings impact others? If so, how? And, most importantly, have we brought these to the Lord??

Find refuge in the Lord and He will bring you past these weaknesses. He will continue to transform you into a creature of light and wonderment; a child of God. Your growth, humility, respect, love, and understanding will pour out from within, embracing all whom you reach.

Days of the Week with God

Monday, Wash Day
Lord, help me wash away all my selfishness and
Vanity, so I may serve you with perfect humility
Through the week ahead.

Tuesday, Ironing Day
Dear Lord, help me iron out all the wrinkles
Of prejudice I have collected through the years
So that I may see the beauty in others.

Wednesday, Mending Day
O God, help me mend my ways so I will not
Set a bad example for others.

Thursday, Cleaning Day
Lord Jesus, help me to dust out all the many faults
I have been hiding in the secret corners of my heart.

Friday, Shopping Day
O God, give me the grace to shop wisely so I may purchase
eternal happiness for myself and all others In need of love.

Saturday, Cooking Day
Help me, my Savior, to brew a big kettle of brotherly
Love and serve it with clean, sweet bread of human kindness.

Sunday, The Lord's Day
O God, I have prepared my house for you. Please
Come into my heart so I may spend the day and the
Rest of my life in your presence.