Selfishness and Love

Selfishness and love. Not too often does someone speak of these two words jointly. In many cases in life, although they are opposites, selfishness and love go hand in hand.

Selfishness is focused on satisfying its own flesh while Love is focused on pleasing others.

So is it possible for someone to be selfish and still love wholeheartedly? The answer is no. Here’s why…

The breakdown

LOVE: The bible explains different facets of love. The simplest of understandings (and most commonly known) is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV), Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

SELFISHNESS: According to the gospel, selfishness (and pride… since they have similar traits) only causes trouble and dissonance. God sees this as sinful and those who partake in it will not inherit His Kingdom.

1 John 2:16 (CEV) Our foolish pride comes from this world, and so do our selfish desires and our desire to have everything we see. None of this comes from the Father.

Proverbs 13:10 (CEV)
Too much pride causes trouble.
Be sensible and take advice

Proverbs 18:1 (NIV)
An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.

So how does selfishness affect love?

In being selfish, people usually mistreat other people because of their own feelings. There is more emphasis on "me" or "my" or "I" as opposed to taking the other into consideration. With that as a foundation, they cannot really love… TRULY LOVE… someone else because of their over abundance of self-love. In other words, this "self love" doesn’t allow a person to love entirely because they’re feeding a selfish pride instead.

Solution or Resolution (if you will):

The bible tells us to love one another as God has loved us
(John 13:34).
The bible tells us to be devoted to and honor one another
(Romans 12:10).
The bible tells us to have concern for one another
(1 Corinthians 12:25).

We are instructed to humble ourselves before the Lord so that we may move in life with an abundance of humility, respect, love, and understanding towards one another. In order to achieve this, we must first be fair with ourselves… set our path on His ways, not the ways of the selfish and prideful. After all, if we are not fair to ourselves then we will have a hard time being fair to others.

Philippians 2:3 (NIV) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

James 3:17 (NIV) But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere

We must all take the time to re-evaluate ourselves. Where do we fall short? What are our inequities? Do these shortcomings impact others? If so, how? And, most importantly, have we brought these to the Lord??

Find refuge in the Lord and He will bring you past these weaknesses. He will continue to transform you into a creature of light and wonderment; a child of God. Your growth, humility, respect, love, and understanding will pour out from within, embracing all whom you reach.

The Devil & the Duck

A chain email with a good messsage...

There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.

He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.

He practiced in the woods; but he could never hit the target.

Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.

As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved!

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile; only to see his
Sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma said, 'Sally, let's wash the dishes'

But Sally said, 'Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.'

Then she whispered to him, 'Rem em ber the duck?'

So Johnny did the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, 'I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper.'

Sally just smiled and said, 'well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help?

She whispered again, 'Remember the duck?' So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally's; he
Finally couldn't stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck.

Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, 'Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you.'


Thought for the day and every day thereafter:

Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... And the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)...whatever it is... you need to know that:

God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.
"For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord." (Proverbs 5:21)

He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.

The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness;

He not only forgives you, but He forgets.
"…and will not remember thy sins." (Isaiah 43:25)
"I will remember their sin no more." (Jeremiah 31:34)
"Their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more." (Hebrews 8:12)

It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved.
to give his people the knowledge of salvation
through the forgiveness of their sins,
because of the tender mercy of our God,
by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven. (Luke 1:77-78)


Always remember:

God is at the window!

When Jesus died on the cross; he was thinking of you!
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

A Baby's Hug

We were the only family with children in the restaurant. I sat Erik in a high chair and noticed everyone was quietly sitting and talking.

Suddenly, Erik squealed with glee and said, 'Hi.' He pounded his fat baby hands on the high chair tray. His eyes were crinkled in laughter and his mouth was bared in a toothless grin, a s he wriggled and giggled with merriment.

I looked around and saw the source of his merriment. It was a man whose pants were baggy with a zipper at half-mast and his toes poked out of would-be shoes. His shirt was dirty and his hair was uncombed and unwashed. His whiskers were too short to be called a beard and his nose was so varicose it looked like a road map.

We were too far from him to smell, but I was sure he smelled. His hands waved and flapped on loose wrists. 'Hi there, baby; hi there, big boy. I see ya, buster,' the man said to Erik.

My husband and I exchanged looks, 'What do we do?'

Erik continued to laugh and answer, 'Hi.'

Everyone in the restaurant noticed and looked at us and then at the man. The old geezer was creating a nuisance with my beautiful baby. Our meal came and the man began shouting from across the room, 'Do ya patty cake? Do you know peek-a-boo? Hey, look, he knows peek- a-boo.'

Nobody thought the old man was cute. He was obviously drunk.

My husband and I were embarrassed. We ate in silence; all except for Erik, who was running through his repertoire for the admiring skid-row bum, who in turn, reciprocated with his cute comments.

We finally got through the meal and headed for the door. My husband went to pay the check and told me to meet him in the parking lot. The old man sat poised between me and the door. 'Lord, just let me out of here before he speaks to me or Erik,' I prayed. As I drew closer to the man, I turned my back trying to sidestep him and avoid any air he might be breathing. As I did, Erik leaned over my arm, reaching with both arms in a baby's 'pick-me-up' position. Before I could stop him, Erik had
propelled himself from my arms to the man.

Suddenly a very old smelly man and a very young baby consummated their love and kinship. Erik in an act of total trust, love, and submission laid his tiny head upon the man's ragged shoulder. The man's eyes closed, and I saw tears hover beneath his lashes. His aged hands full of grime, pain, and hard labor, cradled my baby's bottom and stroked his back. No two beings have ever loved so deeply for so short a time.

I stood awestruck. The old man rocked and cradled Erik in his arms and his eyes opened and set squarely on mine. He said in a firm commanding voice, 'You take care of this baby.'

Somehow I managed, 'I will,' from a throat that contained a stone.

He pried Erik from his chest, lovingly and longingly, as though he were in pain. I received my baby, and the man said, 'God bless you, ma'am, you've given me my Christmas gift.'

I said nothing more than a muttered thanks. With Erik in my arms, I ran for the car. My husband was wondering why I was crying and holding Erik so tightly, and why I was saying, 'My God, my God, forgive me.'

I had just witnessed Christ's love shown through the innocence of a tiny child who saw no sin, who made no judgment; a child who saw a soul, and a mother who saw a suit of clothes. I was a Christian who was blind, holding a child who was not. I felt it was God asking, 'Are you willing to share your son for a moment?' when He shared His for all eternity.

The ragged old man, unwittingly, had reminded me about Mark 10:15... "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Sometimes, it takes a child to remind us of what is really important. We must always remember who we are, where we came from and, most importantly, how we feel about others. The clothes on your back or the car that you drive or the house that you live in does not define you at all; it is how you treat your fellow man that identifies who you are.