Selfishness and love. Not too often does someone speak of these two words jointly. In many cases in life, although they are opposites, selfishness and love go hand in hand.
Selfishness is focused on satisfying its own flesh while Love is focused on pleasing others.
So is it possible for someone to be selfish and still love wholeheartedly? The answer is no. Here’s why…
The breakdown
LOVE: The bible explains different facets of love. The simplest of understandings (and most commonly known) is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV), Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
SELFISHNESS: According to the gospel, selfishness (and pride… since they have similar traits) only causes trouble and dissonance. God sees this as sinful and those who partake in it will not inherit His Kingdom.
1 John 2:16 (CEV) Our foolish pride comes from this world, and so do our selfish desires and our desire to have everything we see. None of this comes from the Father.
Proverbs 13:10 (CEV)
Too much pride causes trouble.
Be sensible and take advice
Proverbs 18:1 (NIV)
An unfriendly man pursues selfish ends; he defies all sound judgment.
So how does selfishness affect love?
In being selfish, people usually mistreat other people because of their own feelings. There is more emphasis on "me" or "my" or "I" as opposed to taking the other into consideration. With that as a foundation, they cannot really love… TRULY LOVE… someone else because of their over abundance of self-love. In other words, this "self love" doesn’t allow a person to love entirely because they’re feeding a selfish pride instead.
Solution or Resolution (if you will):
The bible tells us to love one another as God has loved us
(John 13:34).
The bible tells us to be devoted to and honor one another
(Romans 12:10).
The bible tells us to have concern for one another
(1 Corinthians 12:25).
We are instructed to humble ourselves before the Lord so that we may move in life with an abundance of humility, respect, love, and understanding towards one another. In order to achieve this, we must first be fair with ourselves… set our path on His ways, not the ways of the selfish and prideful. After all, if we are not fair to ourselves then we will have a hard time being fair to others.
Philippians 2:3 (NIV) Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
James 3:17 (NIV) But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere
We must all take the time to re-evaluate ourselves. Where do we fall short? What are our inequities? Do these shortcomings impact others? If so, how? And, most importantly, have we brought these to the Lord??
Find refuge in the Lord and He will bring you past these weaknesses. He will continue to transform you into a creature of light and wonderment; a child of God. Your growth, humility, respect, love, and understanding will pour out from within, embracing all whom you reach.
Jan 28, 2009
Selfishness and Love
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3 Comments:
This article is deep but true. We do not stop and think of the meaning of these two words side by side.
Through out life we are raised thinking that we need to be happy and we need to take care of ourselves first before we can love another...is this being selfish???? or is it loving ourselves first??? How easily it is to confuse the two....
I love the way you broke down the definition for each word making me think deeper of the actions that come from those powerful words.
It is true, God has always put us first...his love for us stares at in the face in black in white, he has made it easy for us to understand, even though we should believe without seeing. He has laid the foundation for our life in the BIBLE, which we take forgranted.
It took me a long long time to understand what it meant to "serve" the woman in my life. I am grateful to God that he finally opened my eyes.
Your post on selfishness and love is so true.
Thanks. It took some time for me to learn to take down the walls in order to better receive God's love. In doing so, I've noticed a change in how I love others as well. I've chipped a substantial amount of those walls down but I still have a lot to go.
It's easier to live in the flesh than live by the Word of God... live in the here & now... "what about me?!" or "I want this." We forget to realize the sacrifices made for us. We forget to invest into something that the Lord has put so much time and effort and LOVE into without taking away from the love and respect we should have for one another. Loving yourself is important but it shouldn't come at the cost of taking from someone else.
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